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Cool and New Web Comic
As described on the MSPF website, Cool and New Web Comic'' is a tale about "4 kids habv play a game to make a unaverse and some other thigns hapen too." But it is truly a story about a webcomic's descent into shit. It started on the 10th of April 2016 (4/10/16). Cool and New Web Comic's ''(CaNWC) basic premise was to take ''Homestuck, but keep everything poorly drawn in a classic "shitpost" style, save for a few characters who have been inexplicably preserved. It originally took all of the reader submitted commands, but this was reduced to "most" with its increase in popularity. '''Plot Act 1 (April 13, 2009) On his 13th birthday, Jhon Ebgret makes a hamcake, checks on Dabe Stidrer in the chest of continents, and removes his own kidney. He flirts with Rose Lalonde, who is confused by his strange attitude and sudden excess of typos. She rejects his advances, but is still ready to begin their game of Sburb. Jhon is then trolled by Kraket Vantage, who cyberbullies him. The combination of rejection and bullying angers Jhon, leading to him throwing a pick-axe out his window. Meanwhile, Swet Bro and Hecka Jef have stopped by Jhon's house to celebrate his birthday and visit Dabe. Swet Bro climbs up to Jhon's window to say hello, but is hit by the pick-axe and killed. Hecka Jef hides behind a tree and calls the pollice. Dadd returns home and Jhon races him to the mailbox. Jhon retrieves both presents from Dabe and Jaed, as well as both sburb disks, by captchaloguing them out of Dadd's hand, along with the hand itself. This act of violence scares off Hecka Jef, who takes a plane back home. Jhon orders Dadd to hide the body and goes back inside. Rose looks around her room and begins to notice how distorted everything looks. From her perspective, things appeared more and less like they did in Homestuck as of a few moments ago, with a sudden shift making everything look low quality. She messages Jhon to ask if he's ready to play the game, and he informs her of his murder of Swet Bro, who is apparently real, and his assault on Dadd. She asks where Dabe, apparently remembering he's been missing for a month, unlike Homestuck, but Jhon covers for his sexual deviancy by claiming he's "at the store". After investigating her room some more and noting that her pesterchum name has changed to "testacleTheorist", she messages Jaed Hardly, only to find her corrupt as well. Jhon installs Sburb and connects with Rose, but quickly becomes bored with the game because it looks too complicated. He deletes it and downloads RollerCoaster Tycoon instead, which is on the back of the Sburb disk. Like Sburb, this version of RCT allows Jhon to manipulate his surroundings, and he builds a roller coaster in his backyard. Under Waynerd Vagibong's instruction, Jhon lets Dabe out of the box, but quickly punishes him again when he's disappointed with his bunnie gift, as it is far inferior to the Uber Bunnie gift from Jaed. He sends him to stand in the corner without clothes. Officer Femorafreack arrives at Jhon's house in response to Hecka Jef's call and begins investigating, finding the trail of blood but no body. This of course indicates there's been a heinous crime of littering on a perfectly good lawn. Rose finds that Jhon has disconnected from their session. Having discovered that meteor strikes coincide with Sburb sessions from GameFAQs, she pleads with him to reinstall it, but he refuses. From his plane, Hecka Jef has realized the perilous situation people are in as well, but having lost his original planned Sburb partner Swet Bro, he contacts Jhon to try to convince him to play, in the hopes that he could get revenge on him through the game, but Jhon still refuses. Hecka Jef then contacts Rose instead and makes her the same offer. Rose is not aware that Hecka Jef is the one pestering her, or that Hecka Jef is a real person in the first place, so she's hesitant to give control of her environment to a stranger, putting him on hold. To hide Swet Bro's body, Dadd baked him into a cake. Jhon captchalogues several of the body parts on the cake for later use. Femorafreack enters their home and Jhon lies, telling him there was no murder, eating the cake to hide the body. Femorafreack believes him and finds Dadd missing a hand. He concludes that Dadd's blood was what was littered outside, making it not criminal at all. As he goes to leave he notices that Jhon has started building roller coasters "again" and decides to arrest him since they are dangerous. Rose contacts Jaed in the hope that she can play Sburb with her instead, but Jaed apparently has never even heard of the game, making it a lost cause. Rose warns her of the meteors and she immediately leaves to go hide in the froge temple. Rose, realizing she's out of options, agrees to play with Hecka Jef. Everyone enters the session. Femorafreack attempts to arrest Jhon, but is blocked by the uber bunnie. Jhon, Dabe, Dadd, and the uber bunny all escape to the roller coaster. Femorafreack tries to shoot Jhon and gives chase in his pollice car, but loses them as they escape through a portal into the Medium. He instead meets up with Hecka Jef, who offers to help Femorafreack find Jhon. Rose and Hecka Jef set up the entry process for Sburb, with Germy prototyping himself and Hecka Jef prototyping Rose's grimoire. Jaed and her space dog Beq use a transportalizer in the Frog Temple to reach Prostit. Femorafreack assists Hecka Jef in completing his process, while Momi does Rose's work for her. Each arrive at their planet, Rose to the white Land of Light and Froges (LOLAF) and Hecka Jef to the black Land of Darknes and Ruses (LODAR). Act 2 Now flying through space outside of Skya near Durst, Jhon pauses to take a selfie with Swet Bro's finger, revealing his death to Dabe. Dabe is initially horrified, but they quickly kiss and make up. Hrates Bocars points this out to Jack Noir, who is also inexplicably normal. Jack seems mostly unfazed by the corruption though, being only mildly more rancorous than usual. Jack orders AR to deal with the humans. AR fires on the roller coaster, which splits into three parts. Jhon crashes toward Rose's room on LOLAF, Dabe enters a gate to LODAR, and Dadd and the uber bunny land in the Veil. Having bought some time, Rose begins to investigate the corruption. She messages Terezi confirming that the trolls have been affected as well. She talks to Hecka Jef to touch base, and he tells her his backstory, about the Prostit clouns he sees in his dreams, and of Jhon and Dabe's secret relationship. Soon after, Jhon crashes into her home. Overhearing Hecka Jef's story, Germysprit and Femorafreack decide to seek justice for Swet Bro. Hecka Jef goes to sleep, waking up on Prostit as Jaed shaves her legs over his face. Jaed runs away and then uses Beq's power to easily usurp the Prostit throne by teleporting the Whyte Quen to the edge of the Inpiscispere. Act 5 briefly reveals Kraket in his hive, but then cuts away. Act 3 '''''Jack Jack orders AR to deal with the Whyte Quen. Hrates Bocars tells Rubs Juice and the Dacronian Dignity about the kissing kids. Jack is confused by the presence of humans who aren't heroes of LOLAF or LODAR and decides to kill them. He orders HB to take care of Dabe, DD to send Dadd to a better place, and RJ to put Jaed and her dog to rest, or short of that to simply report back. Jack leaves to kill Jhon. Rose Rose observes her new planet. She questions Jhon about the corruption, but he isn't aware of any change. She starts looking for other uncorrupted people among the trolls again. Gametez and centurionsTest are both corrupt, but she finds Kanaya Maryam still normal. Rose tries to recruit her, but Kanaya is strangely oblivious to the "deterioration" Rose is talking about and dismisses her as insane. However, when Rose points out how Kanaya's Trollian handle had changed, she recognizes it, dismissing it as a prank by Sollux. Rose allocates her needles to her strife specibus and leaves to explore LOLAF. Jhon begins to make out with Momi. Rose meets Bg'ogubglog'ybulsprite and observes the frogs covering her planet. At that moment, Jack's ship comes into view, hurtling towards Rose. Momi pushes her out of the way, and is crushed in her place. They fight each other, but stop when they noticed they are both uncorrupted. They put aside their weapons and shake hands, joining together in cahoots. Femorafreack Acting on Hecka Jef's testimony, Femorafreack decides to also arrest Jhon for murder and lying in addition to the whole roller coaster thing from before. He randomly fires a bullet in the air, and then makes plans with Germysprit, who he deputizes. Germysprit explains that they are now in a new dimension and that Jhon is on another planet. Femorafreack tries to find a way off of LODAR, but gravity keeps him down. He arrests LODAR for obstruction of justice, causing its revolution around Skya to suddenly halt. He leaves to explore LODAR and spots an explosion in the distance. He then encounters the Bug Stand Man, who pulls a ruse to steal his wallet. Femorafreack tries to shoot the Bug Stand Man, but misses, blaming his gun for not being suited for long ranges. He leaves with Germysprit to alchemize a better weapon, but instead creates a bomb, which kills him, Germysprit, and Hecka Jef. This begins a doomed timeline. Germysprit He is dead. Dabe Doomed Dabe finds Femorafreack's body and allocates his gun to his strife specibus. He starts to rap, impressing local lizard Fresh Jimmy. When Dabe tries to teach Fresh Jimmy the art of irony, the lizard steals his sunglasses. Dabe uses Femorafreack's gun to kill Fresh Jimmy, getting back his glasses and taking Fresh Jimmy's many wallets. Dabe finds Hecka Jef's computer, revealing that Hecka Jef was being trolled by Kraket, but hadn't responded. Dabe replies in his stead, but as this is a doomed timeline the message does not go through. Dabe finds the heads of Hecka Jef, Germysprit, and Femorafreack. Distraught over their death, he kisses Hecka Jef's head, but is then crushed by Hrates Bocars's ship. HB mourns over Dabe's body and is then killed himself by the bullet Femorafreack fired before. Jaed As Quen of Prostit, Jaed orders all Prostitians to wear fursuits, an injustice which angers PM. Jaed hits on Rose, competing with Jhon for her hand, and invites her to Prostit. Rose sarcastically refuses, which Jaed still takes as a victory. She spots Hecka Jef walking around outside out of costume. He is thrown in jail for this treasonous act. Beq teleports Doomed Dabe's corpse to Doomed Jaed. Angered by this and Hecka Jef's noncompliance, Doomed Jaed uses the Red Miles on Prostit, destroying the entire planet. Before she finishes off the planet entirely, PM interrupts her, stabbing her with a spike. Jaed, PM, and Dabe are then all crushed by Rubs Juice's ship. RJ is then crushed by a collapsing tower. Hecka Jef From Prostit's prison, Doomed Hecka Jef learns of his and the other's death through Skya clouns. He takes a picture of one cloud depicting Dabe kissing his head, which failed to revive him though because Dabe is not a player. He escapes jail to Prostit's moon, where he dies on his Quest Bed. Hecka Jef rises up as a god tier Muse of Time while Prostit crashes into Skaia. Using time-travel nachos, Doomed Hecka Jef goes back to seconds before the creation of Femorafreack's bomb. He takes this bomb further back in time, and meets up with Alpha Hecka Jef. Doomed HJ gives Alpha HJ his time travel nachos and the picture of him kissing Dabe. Alpha HJ time travels away, leaving Doomed HJ stranded, dying to the explosion in a Heroinc death. This creates the explosion Femorafreack initially saw in the distance. This ends the doomed timeline. Alpha Hecka Jef is woken up by his future self (as well as Swet Mom, who was also apparently in his house, shaving over his face). Future HJ gives present HJ the time-travel nachos from Doomed HJ, and then time travels away again. Present Hecka Jef leaves to create time loops. Jhon Rose and Jhon attempt to push Jack's ship off of Momi, leading Rose to discover she has telekinetic powers. Jhon captchalogues Momi's feet and then tosses her corpse into Bg'ogubglog'ybulsprite, creating Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite. They resume making out. Meanwhile, Jack is going around stabbing frogs (one of which Jhon captchalogues). Roses goes off to sit alone. Jhon eventually follows, thinking she is jealous of her mother. He offers to make out with her too, which only further creeps Rose out until she orders him away. Jhon leaves and is pestered by Vrasky. He considers her his daddy, following her word exactly, doing whatever she tells him to. She gets Jhon to collect Rose's present and install Roller Coaster Tycoon on his pda. Jhon is guided in RCT by White Wordes Guy on how to play his unique Sburb session. As a Sburb-RCT player, Jhon begins making an amusement park around Rose's home, attracting imps and consorts as customers (who Jack also starts killing). Naturally, many of these rides are fatal. He also launches the Con Air bunny and Rose's bunny into space. Years in the future, Waynerd Vagibong continues to give Jhon commands. Dadd Dadd has entered an ectobiology lab with the uber bunny. He replaces his missing hand with a ham, retrieves paradox slime from himself and Obana, clones himself several times, and Obana once. The two bunnies Jhon launched into space crash near Dadd, the uber bunny barely saving him from being crushed, dropping all the weapons in the process on the knitted bunnie. Dadd steals the faces of two babies, ironically causing the "tragic face accident' that had initially deprived him and Femorafreack of a face in the first place. He hits the "randomize" button on the ectobiology machine, which lands on Nanna, Momi, Borp, and Grandpather, and doomed timelines for every possible combination that does not ''choose these four people. Dadd also clones Swet Bro, Hecka Jef, and Swet Bro's Momi, but interrupts it midway, collecting the slime of all three, but only cloning SB's Momi. The machine then creates the ectobiological children of all these people, creating Germy, the Biig Man, Jhon, Jaed, Roze, Dabe, Swet Bro, and Hecka Jef. As Dadd had never seen Con Air, he did not have a bunnie time of his own, leaving the children to collect their own gifts. The burnt bunnie goes to Roze, the knitted bunnie and weapons to Jaed, and the uber bunnie to Hecka Jef. The Dacronian Dignity crashes in, killing one Dadd clone, knocking the eyes off of Momi, and the mouth off of Bro. He escorts Dadd and the rest of the clone army off planet, as well as accidentally taking Obana, who holds on to the outside of the ship. Kanaya looks on at the whole process and finally notices how distorted everything looks. She throws away her keyboard in disgust. DD offers to take Dadd to a better place. As Dadd considers what that is, he realizes he is not happy with Jhon, and instead just wants to bake cakes. DD comforts him and they kiss. 'Whyte Quen / Momi / AR' Momi and Jhon make out. A lot. Meanwhile, Whyte Quen (now WQ as she is no longer queen) is floating in space, trapped by her own lack of momentum. AR's ship cautiously approaches her for capture, wary of the monsters close by. AR writes a law forbidding them from entering, but they do so anyway, capturing him. This scares WQ away, gaining momentum through sheer willpower. She crashes toward LODAR. 'Fresh Jimmy' In the Alpha Timeline, Fresh Jimmy gets away from Dabe with his sunglasses entirely scot-free. Femorafreack continues to chase after the Bug Stand Man. Meanwhile, Blapck Kink politely asks the Whyte Kink for his scepter so he can start the Wreckining, and Whyte Kink agrees. The different storylines coalesce, as the Wreckining begins. All the babies are sent off on their meteors with their respective items, Jhon picking up the hams Dadd left, and Lil Cal teleporting to Borp on his meteor. Hrates Bocars takes care of Dabe. Rubs Juice puts Jaed to rest, which the Blapck Quen sees on one of Jack's fenestrated walls. Grimdark AR descends on LOLAF and Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite finally stops kissing Jhon to talk to him. Waynerd Vagibong causes his base to ascend. Dadd is taken to a better place on LODAR. He meets up with Femorafreack, returning his face to him. Hecka Jef sees that LOLAF is going to crash into LODAR and tells Femorafreack to unarrest the planet. He does so and its revolution resumes. Fresh Jimmy finds a giant nancho scratch construct and takes a bite, being blasted backwards by the sudden release of energy. He lands on Germysprit simultaneously with Whyte Quen, prototyping them both. Jack continues to walk around Cool and New Parck, but gives in to a guilty pleasure, sneaking on to a carousel without paying. This angers Jhon, who dramatically increases its speed until Jack is flung off. He flies toward Rose, whose hands glow with a purple energy before they collide. Jhon completes his RCT challenge and is given a victory coaster which teleports him off to a new planet, along with baby Obana, who just happened to have fallen off of DD's ship before. '''Intermishin'' The intermission briefly shows Biig Man in a post-apocalyptic future with Lil Cal entering another base, but cuts away to Spdaes Sleck standing in the . Notably, every single member appears to be normal. Sleck checks on Eridumb in his chest of continents, and then kills . Rubs Juice kills for rejecting his jig. Spdaes Sleck ambushes with Diamom Drugs, forcing him to turn 's corpse into a skin-suit. Sleck uses this to trick into thinking he's , allowing him to sneak up on him during their poker game and kill him. Diamom Drugs kills and shoots 's effigy, causing to time travel and accidentally kill . Diamom Drugs then puts on 's Cairo Overcoat, which he uses to time travel to kill and . Hedgemann Brutus tried to open the 's vault, but was unsuccessful. He was waylaid by and , but he quickly ate all of them in one go. then smashed through a wall, bringing with him. Diamom Drugs and Angry Rubs Juice came to help Hedgemann Brutus, but Spdaes Sleck was conspicuously absent. Sleck had, in fact, used 's juju to travel to a timeline where all the Felt members were alive. As he was still wearing 's corpse, the other members of the Midight Crewd shot him on sight before he revealed his identity. They prepared for battle against , an effective team once again with , but the fight was interrupted by , aka Vrasky. She stabbed both of Sleck's eyes, leading him to stab 's juju again, sending him back to the original timeline. He ran into , took the crowbar, sending him through time. Hedgemann Brutus eats , but breaks out of his stomach. does a jig, impressing Angry Rubs Juice, calming him down to normal Rubs Juice again. Diamom Druggs interrupts their flirting by firing on them both. 's incredible luck protects them and the bullets instead kill , who teleported in with Spdaes Sleck. Sleck uses the crowbar to override 's luck, hitting him across the head. This re-angers Rubs Juice, who Sleck then kills. then punches Diamom Drugs out of the comic entirely. Sleck uses Rubs Juice's bombs to kill and threatens into opening the safe, killing him afterward. whips Sleck and locks him in the vault. Sleck discovers the troll's Ultimate Reward doorway and steps through. He exists to a postapocalyptic Earth where Peargrain Memicant walks around the wasteland. He immediately stabs her in the back, only to find yet another command station, this one shaped like a rollercoaster car. He joins Wayner Vagibong and the Biig Man in the air. Act 4 Jhon is now on his new planet, the Land of Dollers and Danger (LODAD), only to disocer that Obana has now become president! Realizing the economy is in danger, he sets off on his quest to make the most awesome theme park imaginable. Or at least that's what White Wordes Guy tells him to do. Jhon continues to expand his new theme park and speak to some of the crocodile consorts, who inform him of his title as the Boss of Wheels. After bribing a guard with several items, makes his way off toward the Whyte Hous. Meanwhile, Rose posts a walkthrough on gamefaxs of the Sburb beta, primarily for her own benefit to process her thoughts on the corruption and to serve as a recap for o. It is revealed that Rose froze Jack in midair using some kind of time power. She goes over to Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite and AR, who are discussing 's attack on the horrer terrers. Rose is revealed to be the Lord of Space. Jhon sneaks into the Whyte Hous and challenges Obana, but is shot by the Sekret Service. He messages Rose asking for help, but dies before Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite can teleport her to him. Jack has now been left alone on LOLAF, which is now devoid of life for as far as can been seen, Jack having stabbed basically everything to death. Jack radioed his underlings for a progress report only to find they had misinterpreted his instructions. Rubs Juice is soon after attacked by the Blapck Quen, who is attempting to take over Prostit. Jack realizes that the Durst throne is undefended. He orders them back to Durst to take the throne for himself. Dacronian Dignity and Hrates Bocars refuse to leave Dadd and Dabe though, and RJ is face to face with the Blapck Quen herself, so none of them leave for Durst. Dacronian Dignity proposes to Dadd and they adopt all the Dadd clone babies. Dabe leaves to get his shades back from Fresh Whyte Germysprite, but finds they have turned red from the prototyping process and throws them away. Femorafreack gives Dabe his old pair however. Having regained his cool, Dabe enters Hecka Jef's house, finding him having sex with Swet Mom. Dabe logs on Hecka Jef's computer and makes a comic about the day's events when he gets a message from Kraket. Amid his trolling attempt, Kraket reveals that the trolls have been left stranded in their own game session as the human's have stolen their "winner door" while they are being killed by two demons, one of color and one of darkness, both of whom Dabe has known for years. Hecka Jef interrupts to tell Kraket off, which Kraket takes as caliginous flirting. Hecka Jef then explains to the group where they are, what happened to earth, and that they need to kill imps to get better equipment, and then kill Jhon Ebgret, as well as Rose for defending him. They all agree to his plan, although Dabe does so somewhat reluctantly. Fresh Whyte Germysprite decides to leave for Prostit though and gives Hecka a necklace to summon him if needed. Hecka then hears a mysterious voice in his head that claims to know him. The group then proceed to kill imps. Dabe is injured in the battle, so Hrates takes him to LODAD in the hope of finding Jhon. At the same time, Fresh Whyte Germysprite heads to Prostit, where the Blapck Quen is interrogating Rubs Juice. He almost successfully takes the ring for himself once again, but the Blapck Quen spots him and throws him out of the room. Hecka levels up to "Meta Man" for his efforts. Rose kisses Jhon to try to revive him, but the effort fails because he lacks a dreamself. Instead, she uses her time powers to pause Jhon as Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite takes him off to find his Quest Coaster. Rose spots his PDA though and sees the messages Doc Scratch left for Jhon and herself, but she is teleported back to LOLAF before she can react. Upon returning though she finds she has four separate messages from Dabros, Kanaya, Hecka, and Doc. Rose first speaks to Dabros, who weakly attempts to troll her. He is then killed by Kraket, who offers to form an alliance with Rose as they have learned that only Hecka is to blame for creating the two demons that plague them. She then speaks to Kanaya, who shows Rose a picture of her as a baby, revealing that she was initially "corrupt" herself. This causes Rose to enter a mental breakdown and explode, confronted not only with her own personal history. Kanaya explains more about the imminent danger the trolls face, and Rose shares her walkthrough with her. They also both share that they have a vague awareness of Animaker. Doc is then notably unhelpful in his conversation, showing off his omniscience with cryptic information and informs Rose of his relationship with . Delaying her conversation with Hecka Jef, Rose greets her purple scarf, before realizing that was stupid. Hecka begrudgingly states that he needs Rose to play through Sburb, and gives her Gristorrent so that she can leech off of Jhon's excess supplies. Rose informs Hecka Jef that Jhon is dead, which initially overjoys him, until Rose also tells him of her plan to resurrect them. Hecka rebukes her for trying siding for going so far out of her way to help a murderer and making up excuses for him and for thinking so little of other people. Rose contemplates all the conversations she has just had when she discovers Jack's note and warily approves of his action. She reflects on her actions for a moment, considering Hecka's criticisms, but firmly holds herself to be in the right, reaffirming she must ''do something about the corruption. She elects to take advantage of her newly acquired grist to alchemize several objects. Kanaya also messages her to give her the code for the Quills of Echidna, which she apparently got from the bunnie. Thrown into a rage by his conversation with Rose, Hecka began destroying items around his home until Femorafreack calmed him down. Calling his team together once more, he declared Rose to be the "master mind" behind Jhon, plotting to keep him away from justice, and of her evil plan to erase them all. But to first prepare for this encounter, they decide to alchemize some items. This mostly involves various forms of guns, as well as repairing a few other things, such as the pollice car or Dadd's clothes and hands. We then cut to a flashback right before the start of the story. Swet Bro, Hecka Jef, and Germy are all in Biig Man's class taking their final. They whisper to each other about going to Jhon's birthday party and the present that Hecka prepared for him. Borp comes to take them to the airport, but Biig Man blocks his way. Borp then arms Lil Cal with a katana and throws it at the teacher, cutting his leg off. The crew make their escape, but Biig man picks up Lil Cal and becomes possessed by . The resulting blast of energy kills Borp. As they walk outside, a dead Dabe greets them. It is revealed that this all took place in a dream bubble with the previous doomed timeline. Alt!Hecka Jef regains his memory and the two brothers finally reunite. Touring around the dream bubbles, Alt!Hecka comes across Jhon. He attempts to fight him, but is stopped by Swet Bro, who has come to accept his fate in the billions of years of subjective time he's experienced in the face of countless versions of ghost Jhon's that cannot be killed. Alt!Hecka still seeks vengeance though, so he sends Swet Bro away and tries to catch the attention of to kill them both. At this time, the consort Timmy met up with Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite and Jhon's corpse, and guided them to his Quest Coaster. Obana spotted her and deduced her plan, giving chase in his Obanacopter. Waynerd Vagibong, as well as the other flying bases, arrive at a froge temple. Kraket messages Rose to tell her about Hecka's plan to interfere with Jhon, so she begins figuring out a way to get to LODAD. Jack arrives on Durst and takes the throne for himself. He assigns the Warweary Villein to assassinate the White and Black Kings, to supposedly make way for democracy. He then leaves to awaken Rose's dreamself. Femorafreack flirts with Swet Mom, but is interrupted by Hecka, who wants to resummon Fresh Whyte Germysprite before leaving. FWG has been fighting with the Blapck Quen for the ring, but it is revealed that Jaed no longer has it, much to both Quen's confusion. FWG's confusion is further compounded when they try to understand what gender they should refer to both the Blapck Quen and themself. As they work this out, Rubs Juice takes the throne for himself, along with the Quen's crown. Frustrated that he's had no success in romance, he decides to marry himself, revealing that he has the ring. WWG watches on as Sad Timmy is mocked for his ridiculous hat, but his TV breaks just before things get good. Instead, he sends the TV off to be fixed by Clover and offers to give the MSPA reader a lecture on troll romance. The MSPA reader cries over this, and WWG instead advises them to be patient. He apologizes for not introducing himself, but claims to have already done so before, indicating he is indeed Doc Scratch, mentally as well as physically. Clover returns with the TV, ending the hiatus. In Vertical Movement, many people rise up or are thrown down. FWG takes the ring from Rubs Juice, as well as the Blapck Quen's ring, transforming into Fresh Dark Germy³sprite, a gigantic planet-sized monstrosity. Meanwhile, the Warweary Villein and his army kills the Kinks, and Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite successfully gets Jhon on his Quest Coaster, who ascends as the Boss of Wheels. All the various forces converge onto LODAD to fight over Jhon. In the end, it is a decisive victory for Rose, who destroys Hecka's left arm and eye. In the aftermath, Prostit is destroyed, FDG3 kills Beq, and Rose kills Swet Mom and Animaker. Doc Scratch is also revealed to still have a normal Damara in his service, and Andrew Hussie bound and gagged in a chest. Shortly after the fight, Kanaya contacts Rose to congratulate her on her victory, as well as tell her about a change to the Gamefaxs walkthrough. o has posted a recap of the story up to that point. '''Act 5' On his 6th sweep, Kraket looks at yams in his wall, kills and eats his crabdaddy, and blows up the pink moon's moon with code from Sollecks. He takes his anger out on other trolls until he is grounded by his daddy Vrasky. He then speaks to Petpeta Legion, and leaves to go punish her for being a furry, but is himself punished by Vrasky for leaving while grounded. When he regains consciousness, he has been trapped in Petpeta's dungeon. Pepeta approaches him, declaring herself to be his new daddy. Meanwhile, Terexi was in her hive, flipping coins and hate-flirting with Gametez Maraca. He is not good at roleplaying, so she turns to Pepeta instead. She laughs at Kraket's humiliation, and rejects Eridumb out of hand. Leaving to explore the area around her hive, she encounters some fantrolls. She kills most of them, much to their masochistic delight, and she also spills the cereal of one Kobobo Obobob. Terexi is then stopped by Vrasky, who thinks the fantrolls are too sexy to kill, and she punishes Terexi by making her stare at the sun. Meanwhile, Gametez does clown antics. He gets scared by a ghost, and flees his hive, bursting through the wall. He runs into the ocean and meets a desperate Eridumb, which also terrifies him. This bores o, who drops off the MSPA reader with a second Whyte Wordes Guy. WWG2 introduces himself as the Final Agent. Unlike Doc Scratch, he is a Last Guardian, and is fully willing to explain the secrets of CaNWC. This is interrupted by Doc Scratch. Their arguments eventually leads to the MSPA Reader imagining them kissing, at which point the Reader is teleported away. Several interactive screens follow, following several stories happening simultaneously. Dabros Dabros Nimtram has been locked in a chest by Vrasky. It is opened by Equihorse, who then beats him up. Equihorse Equihorse Zahcok has sex with his hornsebuttler, accidentally killing him with his great strength. He leaves to go visit Petpeta. After they talk, he is ordered by Vrasky to go to her hive and beat up Dabros, and also rejects one of Eridumb's advances. He then proceeds to beat up Dabros. Petpeta Petpeta Legion is roleplaying with Kraket when Equihorse comes to visit. He floods her hive with sweat, but is disturbed by Kraket's red blood color. He argues with Petpeta over this, but Vrasky interrupts by sending Equihorse a message, asking him to punish Dabros. Before Equihorse leaves, he also tells Petpeta to start playing Sburb, and she begins her game. Aradead Aradead Megadie is a ghost, and scared Gametez out of his hive. She drinks some of his clown juice, turning her into a ghost clown. Vrasky teleports in, and starts a session in his hive. Vrasky had been the one who had originally killed Aradead, firmly establishing her as her daddy. Aradead second prototypes herself as Vrasky's sprite, becoming even more ghostlike on the Land of Joojoos and Vrasky. Papaya Papaya Lesbyam is the gayest person in the world. She plays with Wittle Cal and makes out with her dreamself. She then lets herself be eaten by her lusus to retrieve the matriorb. While she is being vored, Gametez enters Petpeta's hive, only to see Kraket turned into a furry. This scares him again, and he runs away screaming. Papaya is digested, successfully retrieving the matriorb. She then kills her lusus with a chainsaw anyway, just in case. With her lesbian senses, she puckers up right as Vrasky teleports in. They make out, but are interrupted by Gametez bursting into their hive. He finds the lesbians very sexy, which grosses them out. Vrasky teleports Papaya to Equihorse's hive, where she is going to start their Sburb session. Sollecks Sollecks Copter is a bee. There are a lot of bees. He gets tired of doing just bees, and decides to distract himself by changing Sburb's programming. He adds more bees. He tries to commit suicide because he can't escape doing bee-related stuff, but is caught by Fefieri's passing ship. Fefieri Fefieri Pepsis is the troll empress on her flagship. She makes fish puns and writes laws telling everyone to smile. She becomes Solleck's matesprit, right before rejecting one of Eridumb's advances. Her ship is destroyed by a meteor, and she falls into Eridumb's hive. Eridumb Having been shot down by Gametez, Eridumb Ambora messages several other trolls and white wordes guys, but is rejected on all fronts. This narrows down his options to just Fefieri, but finds she has already started a relationship with Sollecks. He then flirts with Glubglub, the emissary of the horrorterrors, which commits suicide to get away from him. He then tries to drink clown juice, but gets his neck caught in the plastic soda rings. He goes to shout at Sollecks at his hive, but finds he isn't there. He eats some of his bees instead. Kraket Kraket Vantage takes over Petpeta's Sburb session in her hive, as she leaves to go play in Kraket's hive. Terexi Terexi Pypes is blind, and wanders over to Kraket with her muscle memory. She finds Petpeta there, and scares her off. Gametez Gametez Maraca kisses Wittle Cal. Vrasky Vrasky Sekret teleoports over to Gametez's hive to connect to Papaya and begin playing Sburb. The ghost of Aradead prototypes herself, becoming Ar8deadsprite, and they are teleported to the Land of Joojoos and Vrasky. Focusing in on Vrasky, we flashback to her backstory. Vrasky had been manipulated by Final Agent and Doc Scratch into becoming an "omnidaddy." When their plans conflicted, she was punished by Final Agent who ripped off one of her arms and stabbed her in the eye. This dominated her, making Whyte Wordes Guy her daddy. Out of the flashback, Vrasky directs the other trolls to make five separate sessions, giving her five separate universes to rule over. However, because of confusion from the various hiveswaps, people ended up connecting to the wrong people, eventually leaving the trolls with a ten player session, excluding Aradead and Dabros. This concludes the interactive troll section. Because of Solleck's intervention, the residents of Durst all wear bee costumes. Jagk Nore rebels against this, killing the Blapck Quen, and taking over the kingdom. Vrasky mind controls Rubs Juice and uses him to manipulate Jagk into killing Petpeta, as punishment for her daddying Kraket. Ar8deadsprite goes to visit Kraket and decides to prototype herself again on his smuppetsprite to become more ghostlike. This turns her into her ultimate self, but also gives her legs, much to her displeasure since it makes her look less ghostly. She then leaves to prototype herself with Equihorse's sprite. Petpeta confronts Kraket, who escaped confinement when Jagk cuts off his foot. Jagk then kills Petpeta, whose death is determined as just. Jagk and Kraket form a moirallegiance over this. Kobobo Obobob is the one who originally killed Petpeta while she's in her quest cocoon, letting her god tier. He has sworn vengeance against Terexi for having spilled his cereal. Aradead prototypes herself with Equihorse's Swetsprite, becoming Smupp8deadswetsprite^3, making her everyone's ultimate self. She tells Equihorse to look at Kraket's session, which reveals that Petpeta is dead. He also swears vengeance. Aradead then prototypes again with one of Terexi's justice weasels, becoming Smupp8deadsweazelpsprite^4, making her one with all of paradox space. Vrasky spots Kobobo and goes off to meet with Papaya. She uses the threat of punishment to unlock Papaya's space powers, allowing her to switch everyone's hives to their player's planets. Aradead tries to prototype with Sensoredsprite, but Vrasky punishes her for interrupting. Vrasky decides to take a bathroom break from being relevant. Aradead instead prototypes with Fefieri's kernelsprite, turning her into G0dhead Aradead. Godhead Aradead G0dhead Aradead takes over the narrative of the comic from o, addressing the reader directly and explaining the fictional mechanics of the world. She exists in the Nearest Ring, and becomes directly responsible for the creation of Paradox Space itself. She prototypes herself with Solleck's sprite. This turns her into a black hole which encompasses every Paradox Space, including Homestuck and all other fanventures. She prototypes with Gametez's hatsprite, expanding her blackhole to encompass all fiction. Seeing fiction as an inherently lower level of reality, she prototypes with Terexi's clawsprite, turning her into a black hole existing in the real world. Anything that enters her becomes fictional, and her gravitational pull prevents anything fictional from escaping into the real world. Becoming increasingly bored with just existing somewhere in space, she prototypes with Eridumb's beesprite, expanding her awareness to the entirety of the real world. Aradead explains several elements of the meta-narrative in the comic, such as the relation of real authors to fictional self-inserts, and the relation between the many readers of CaNWC and the MSPA Reader character, as well as how various fictional canons relate to each other. Godhead Aradead leaves to prototype herself one final time with Papaya's Sensoredsprite. This enhances her into Godhead Aradia. The additional prototyping attempted to expand her awareness beyond even the real world itself, but she was knocked back, causing the Big Bang and the creation of reality itself. Now having a normal mindset, Aradia rejects the hypersexualization of Vrasky and Papaya, and also declares herself to be more relevant than Vrasky, much to her annoyance. Aradia says she will take on a more background role now, and predicts she will have one more especially critical role to play later in the story. However, she also predicts that Kanaya Maryam will ultimately cause her to lose her godhood and even strip her of her identity. Control of the comic is returned to o, who decides they will now explain troll romance. Trol Romants O explains that trol romants is comprised of ten quadrants: Flush, Flush Daddy, Pale, Pale Daddy, Hate, Hate Daddy, Ash, Ash Daddy, Daddy Ash and Daddy Ash Daddy. While trolls typically only accept one romantic partner per quadrant, "daddy" relationships are considered distinct from their "normal" counterpart. This way, a troll can theoretically take part in ten quadrants at once. The only exception to this rule is the Omnidaddy. An Omnidaddy is the result of a rare genetic mutation that compels the troll into engaging in as many daddy relationships as possible in which they are the daddy. Vrasky, for instance, is an Omnidaddy. Omnidaddies become the daddies of everyone they meet, and can even be the daddy of someone higher than them on the hemospectrum. For this reason, lowblood grubs with this defect are culled immediatley after hatching. Daddies can also establish power by becoming the daddies of other daddies; this is okay to do as long as the higher daddy is the daddy of a different daddy relationship than the lower daddy. For instance, Vrasky was Petpeta's Hate daddy while Petpeta was Kraket's Flush Daddy, at least until she died. Now that every one of the players have entered the session, Final Agent commands Vrasky to command Fefieri to make a law that forces every troll in the universe to commit mass suicide. Now, the only trolls left alive are the trolls in the game session, the Handmaid and the Condesce, who is revealed to be corrupted and held captive in Final Agent's apartment. Vrasky is enraged by word of Petpeta's death, and is further enraged by the "caucassian" (trickster mode) consorts littering the land. Meanwhile, the Blapck Kink politely asks the Whyte Kink for his scepter. Despite the Whyte Kink's refusal, the Blapck Kink keeps asking. Jagk and Kraket are hanging out on Papaya's planet, the land of Lazers and Froges, when they see Papaya breeding the froges by forcing them to mate. Papaya ends up creating the universe froge, but Kraket becomes enamored in this process and hastily attempts to do the same thing to the universe froge, giving it froge AIDS. Kobobo attempts to goad Jagk into breeding the froge with a froge that he made out of frooty pebbels, but Jagk immediately destroys it. Then Eridumb asks Jagk to be his daddy for the billionth time. Jagk says yes, and in Eridumb's stupor, Jagk captures him and traps him in Kraket's Chest of Continents, hoping to never have to deal with him again. After more persistent questioning, the Blapck Kink loses his cool, kills the Whyte Kink and begins the wreckining. Vrasky tells the rest of the trolls to wait for her on the victory platform as she kills the Blapck Kink herself. First, Vrasky creates herself using "importance juice" and then creates the rest of her friends and their ancestors. Then she eats one grub, presumably the corrupted Handmaid. Finally, Vrasky goes to the battlefield and intimidated the Blapk Kink into giving her both scepters. Then, she punished him by shoving his scepter down his throat. Now, Kraket, Jagk, Sollecks, Fefieri, Equihorse, Gamatez, Papaya, Terexi, Dabros (still in Vrasky's chest), Kobobo and Godhead Aradia have assembled at the victory platform. Some of the trolls are impatient for Vrasky's arrival, while others know better than to doubt her. Meanwhile, some of the trolls start questioning Aradia before she dismisses them, claiming that she's just here to witness the arrival of the demons. Vrasky arrives and declares that before they can claim their universe, they must go through judgement day.Category:Concepts